TEN TIPS TO ENLIVEN YOUR MARRIAGE

Moms online, a forum on internet, have made a research to mothers about their romantic life. Sixty two percent of them said that they didn’t have any strategy to do romantic things in their relationship, while sixteen percent said that they couldn’t remind the last time they did romantic thing with their hubbies. Therefore it’s not surprising that only three percent of them said that they have developed romantic time with their partner. Of course it’s not a good new, but don’t worry, there’s always good news which is every couple could create new reality for their marriage life. With a bit energy and imagination, a relationship could be enliven and refresh.

 

1. Take a breath.  Give yourself twenty minutes in a day for feeding your mind and getting more relax. Spend that time for praying or meditation in order to decrease distressful thing in your life.
2. Encourage 3 As.  A relationship could grow immensely by these three As: Affection, Affirmation and Admiration. If you feel that your relationship is getting vapid and cold, please water it with affection by hugging before and after working, and a sweet kiss on cheek.
3. Candle lighting instead of darkness cursing.  an experience of a wife who always fights with her hubby is describing the real meaning of candle lighting. This wife said that one night it’s hard for her to get sleeping because of trouble with her husband. There was a bunch negative thinking in her mind for him. “I know, if I don’t throw away this decreasing mental kind of mind then sleeping will be very away from me.” Hence, instead of keep thinking that way, she took a peace of paper and wrote down anything of her husband kindness and put it in an envelope and inserts it in her husband’s suitcase. Since then, she never stopped of having kiss, love phone and hug from her husband everyday.
4. Bring the laugh in the air.  “Laughing is something potential.” It has the ability of transforming feeling, increasing spirit, ceasing the tears, put out the worries, and more other positive things. You don’t have to be a clown for your husband. Try to watch comedy film, sharing favorite cartoon, reading a humorous short story. You can try humor to read him some funny story. The point is leading your partner to see humorous things around.
5. Working as a team.  An IT couple has just quited for their job because of the company bankruptcy. Then they found out that there were so many links and chances to start their own business. It brought them to work and get success as a solid team.  Of course we don’t have to be a scientific couple for a great team. You can work as a team while raising children or even while you both are in the kitchen.
6. Having fun.  List down any activity you like and he likes then set the time to do some activities only by you two. Some inspiring activities are: doing and watching sports or games try fun activity to plan and do, go to movie or theater as well as go to beach or mountain.
7. Empathy.  Try to understand what he feels. Wanna know how? W.MacNeile Dixon said that for understanding each side of life you have to love and feel the heartbeat. Hence, when your partner is just silence or even angry, try to enter his feeling and understanding anything you figure out. Imagine that you are in his position, that’s the point of empathy.
8. Hold your critics.  Think twice before you attack your husband verbally. Your critics have the potential of setting out some of his virtues. You can even hurt him while your critics are too sharp. Just be close with him and show your affection and waiting for the right time. The time when you are not controlled by emotion is the perfect time to convey him what you think (of course with the most intimate thing you can).
9. Listen to your heart.  Be a good listener for him. Listen actively in order to understanding. You have to work hard for feeling what he wants. Here are the five commandments of listening:

   1. • Thou shall focus your attention on him
      • Thou shall not cut his talk
      • Thou shall cease all accuses
      • Thou shall not give any contrary response to his talk
      • Thou shall have to listen as if the his talking is a new matter that you have never heard before

10. Try and try again.  Leo Buscaglia said that there were so many literatures about how to keep the love alive (link of how to keep love alive) But there is only one conclusion in two words: conscious effort.  When we feel that we are denied, hurt, refused, and so on, we have to be like our heart beating, regardless our physical condition is not ok. There are some ways of overcoming bad situation: perseverance, steadiness, patience, and above all is love.